Like chaos in Laos with Pol Pot

l by Gamini Weerakoon

(February 19, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) Sududath and Nodath, two old boys of the Forward School for Backward Boys of the (Special English Crash Course) met for their monthly pow-wow at the Addi-Puddi, their usual water-hole. Sudath greeted his pal: So, so how- how?

So, so how-how? What for the telling. Ha- Ho in Maho no? was Nodath’s response. (Nodath is a Sri Kotha Green UNPer) Sududath(SD) (staunch supporter of the Rajapaksas): Don’t put gong talk men. Only a few protests against the fuel hike. Fuel price was hiked everywhere and there were protests all over the world. What bloody Ha-Ho in Maho?

Adde Nodath, don’t you know anything? Most of what you say has been settled no? All those affected by the fuel hike will be subsidised. They have gone back to work.

ND: But others who have not got salary hikes will now strike demanding the same.

SD: No problem their demands will be granted.

ND: Then why were they not given their demands before strikes were launched?

SD: This is typical UNP. Even when we give into workers demands, we are blamed for not granting them before they were demanded.

ND: Where are you to find the money for subsidies?

SD: Not to worry, Ape boy Cabraal will find it. He says Treasury and Central Bank overflowing with dollars. You UNP fellows can only find faults. Why don’t you talk of good things that we do like beautification of Colombo? Beautification.

ND: Aiyoo—Beautification of Colombo is like in Hollywood no? Remove everything in front and behind and show the beautiful things inside.

SD: What are you saying. Talk English will you.

ND: What I am saying is if Marylyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Liz Taylor etc are covered from head to toe who will say they are beautiful? Once the visual obstructions are not there, they are gorgeous, no? Just like breaking down walls of Colombo 7 and showing off what has been there for decades. Who put up walls around all buildings in the first place?

SD: That’s for security reasons. Now that the war is over there is no need for walls.

ND: Don’t make gong katha. What about Buller’s Road, now called Bauddhaloka Mawatha from Jawatte to Thunmulla? High Walls around homes… like an army camp around Gota’s, Army and Navy Chiefs’ residences and even around Cabral’s. And even on the opposite side like before Queen’s Club. Because no beauty there? No flowers, no butterflies, no bees?

SD: Who is talking gong talk? That’s for security. You UNP fellows have no sense; whole time fighting each other. Appreciate the good things we do. Like the Lotus Pond and soon the Lotus Tower. Schools of the Old Boys.

ND: Like Gota donating land in Kotte worth billions to his old school?

SD: Gong talk again. If Gamini could have built Asgiriya as Test venue for Trinity, Mangala giving land worth Rs. 75 million in race course for second Royal Grounds, why can’t the Rajapaksas give land to their old schools? Mahinda has given a part of race course for his old school and now Gota helps his old school.

ND:Aiyoo Machang, What about schools of poor fellows like us who didn’t produce ministers and ministry secretaries. What about playing grounds for our old school?

SD: You mean Forward School for Backward Boys? Don’t worry Machang. One day we too will produce ministers and ministry secretaries. Till then we will have to make do with Galle Face and Vihara Maha Devi even though vigilance cops will order us to unfold our umbrellas when sitting happily together with girls.