Grease Yakka is playing hell!

by Gamini Weerakoon

(August 29, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) Grease Yakka’ is having Sri Lanka in a spin. Every one knows what ‘grease’ is. But who or what Yakka is, no one can say with accuracy even though women young and old in many parts of this island have been screaming out at night claiming that they had been attacked, embraced, raped and even seen a terrible spectacle, supposedly of a hideous man in pitch-black, prowling in the dark.

Police say that they have caught the Yakka but few believe them because they usually claim to have apprehended killers and other criminals even those who have attacked journalists but failed to produce the men behind the crimes. Besides the Yakka is like the many-headed hydra appearing at various places—from the deep South to the Jaffna peninsula despite claims that he /they have been apprehended by the police.

Cops and Yakkas

Police say that they have caught the Yakka but few believe them because they usually claim to have apprehended killers and other criminals even those who have attacked journalists but failed to produce the men behind the crimes. Besides the Yakka is like the many-headed hydra appearing at various places—from the deep South to the Jaffna peninsula despite claims that he /they have been apprehended by the police.

At times the cops say that this is mass hysteria. Government critics say this is a Machiavellian strategy of the government to do away with Emergency Regulations and instead move in security personnel under the normal law to all parts of the country for reasons of their own. Leaders of this regime also say it is a diabolical plot to de-stabilise the Rajapaksa government. Some other opponents of the Rajapaksas’ say that it is a very effective red herring brought out to distract people from the high cost of living on the eve of municipal councils elections even though Prof. G.L. Pieris claims that soon the GDP will vault over 8.5 pc in the next year.

A colleague says that G.L. is not talking about the GDP but some other development product as evident from the shrinking of his purse. Whatever is true or false, it is evident that the ‘Grease Yakka’ is playing pucks and the mighty security forces that defeated the ‘most powerful terrorist’ group in the world can’t bring ‘Grease Yakka’ to his knees.

We’re all Yakkas

Who are what is the Grease Yakka? A historian points out that we have forgotten our history. We—at least the Sinhalese— are all Yakkas.(Some would say Yakkos, but never mind the slight divergences over a period of time). Remember when Vijaya and his 700 brigands were exiled 2500 years ago from the land now identified as Bengal and were put to sea in a ship that eventually landed in Lanka, the ruling queen at that time was the queen of the Yakkas—Kuveni. Vijaya seduced her, declared himself the king and ruled for fifty odd years. We are said to be the progeny of the union.

But for some reason Yakkas have been looked down upon. Most unidentified causes in daily life are attributed to Yakkas. The usual saying is: Monne Yakkaek da danne ne — Don’t know who the Yakka is. Is this hallmark of sub-continental superiority coming down from Vijaya and his brigands?

Whatever twists and turns the story may take there is little doubt that Sinhalese are Yakkas or part Yakkas. At this point we leave the evolution of Yakkas and Sinhalese to historians, anthropologists and the like and come back to the ‘Grease Yakka’ of today. The Yakkas have been much feared as vicious evil spirits, at times elevated to the status of gods. This fear is still ingrained in the Sinhala psyche despite all the current day braggaddocio about our glorious past. That is why even if a kurumbaattiya (under developed young coconut) falls on the roof today, the entire household wakes up with the men picking up cross-bars (dora polla) to protect themselves and their loved ones from the Grease Yakka.

Wanted an ‘enemy’

We have said before in this column that nations and governments need enemies—real or not— in their own interests. For three decades, governments in power had Velupillai Prabakaran to blame for all the ills. Remember the oft repeated lament: If not for this damned war we would have been another Singapore? Now we don’t have the Prabakaran Yakka, but we can’t see Singapore yet. So do we have to invent one?

If adults are scared out of their wits, the kids must be hiding under beds. Who is to protect them now? Only two people we can think of: Mahinda maama and Gota mamma the smiling ‘uncles’, seen daily in the front pages of newspapers. They will send police ‘uncles’ to protect the little ones whether the little ones like police ‘uncles’ or not.

UNP dirty tricks?

Is the Opposition to the government attempting to destabilise the nation as alleged by the regime’s leaders? It is highly unlikely that Ranil could or would do it for the simple reason that if he could scare the wits out of people countrywide, he could have persuaded his own staunch UNP supporters to go to the polls and vote for the UNP. Young Sajith is also ruled out because of his inability scare Ranil out of the leadership of the party.

Of course the ‘foreign hand’ and ‘NGO traitors’ cannot be ruled out even though foreigners (those from the West) do not believe in Yakkas and ‘all that mumbo-jumbo’ and the elitist non Sinhala speaking NGO types are conditioned by the West to the letter. They believe in plain and simple ghost stories and CIA plots.

Another school of thought is that the Grease Yakka is an invention of government Yakkas inhabiting the banks of the Diyawanna Oya. These Yakkas in white are specialist in ‘devil dancing’ and authorities on Yakkas such as Mahasonas and Riri Yakkas. They invoke these Yakkas on one another particularly at election time when votes are counted where thousands of manape (preferential) votes cast for candidates of their own party end up bundles for them. The Grease Yakka could be a joint production for the benefit of the party and themselves.

Greig Yakka

Meanwhile in UNP cricketing circles, they are speaking of a ‘Greig Yakka’—the smiling, balding, six foot six inch former England cricketer, Tony Greig, turned commentator. Tony has right along been Sri Lanka-friendly, so much so that once and Indian commentator asked him whether he had got dual Sri Lanka citizenship! The cause of Opposition concern has been that Tony has been carried away so much by the Sri Lanka scenery particularly around Hambantota and its ‘development’ that he is bordering on the hyperbole. Tony’s intentions appear to be entirely honourable but unwittingly he is also scoring heavily for the Rajapaksa party at election time. Recently, he had a Rajapaksa sibling who has never played cricket in the commentary box at Sooriyawewa.

A UNPer queries from us whether he could get Sajith Premadasa into the commentary box when matches are played at the Premadasa Stadium because even though Sajith too had not played cricket, his father built the Premadasa Stadium and he is also an MP.