Finding Ourselves

 "Someone once said that a person without relationships is like a person without a shadow, and that we all need a light above our heads to cast that shadow. Our shadow is the metaphorical equivalent of what we bestow on others whether in life or in death." 

Dr. Ruwantissa Abeyratne

(April 16, Quebec, Sri Lanka Guardian) Someone once said that a person without relationships is like a person without a shadow, and that we all need a light above our heads to cast that shadow. Our shadow is the metaphorical equivalent of what we bestow on others whether in life or in death. Years from now, my children will wonder who I was, with a view to finding themselves, perhaps on the mistaken notion that they must take after me in some way. They might even one day begin to discover their true nature and self and re-create their world and their relationships. However, we do not necessarily become our parents, nor do we as a rule take after our ancestors or their prejudices and notions. In his book “Lessons from my Father” Barack Obama says of his basketball playing and a certain respect and attitude his peers were trying to instil in him that did not only apply to the sport: “that respect came from what you did and not who your daddy was. That you didn’t let anyone sneak up behind you to see emotions – such as hurt or fear – you didn’t want them to see”. This speaks of an individual’s strength of character and values.

Years from now, generations to come will analyze the way in which we handled wars and made peace. That will be our shadow. The respect we gain as a generation will, as Obama says, not come from who our fathers and mothers were but how we did things. If we are to leave a good impression behind us, we would have to act as we actually live. Obama says in his other bestselling book “The Audacity of Hope” that our politics will have to be “constructed from the best of our traditions and will have to account for the darker aspects of our past…and we’ll need to remind ourselves, despite all our differences, just how much we share: common hopes, common dreams, a bond that will not break”. In his speech to the Democratic National Convention in 2004, Obama said: “there is not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America – there’s the United States of America”.

This is the wisdom that made a world leader. The world leader in fact, and his words will not fail any society, any nation or any people, wherever they might be.. Building and rebuilding nations require stolid impartiality and compassion. As a sage once said, our shadow will reflect how we “shed all that we have been taught that we do not want or need, and discover our true thoughts, talents, and self”. Almost everywhere in the world change is happening and societies are making quantum leaps from misunderstanding to conciliation. Whether in South Africa, Rwanda, Bosnia or Serbia, we have fought ourselves for too long for our own good. Not once, but over and over, from societal arguments to world wars, sometimes for beliefs and ideals that are not even our own. It is time for us to cleanse ourselves, and to reach that peace among ourselves as humanity. History will bear witness that in human conflict, the fight began within ourselves and it will only end if we rediscover ourselves and regain what we have lost so far.

Being burdened with a legal education, I can only speak from a legal perspective. Francis Bacon once said: “revenge is a kind of wild justice; which the more man’s nature runs to, the more ought law to weed it out. For as the first wrong, it doth but offend the law; but the revenge of that wrong putteth the law out of office”. Bacon also said that, which is past is gone, and irrevocable and wise men have enough to do with things present and to come. We must also confront ourselves in our diversity and suspend our disbelief in others. We must all embrace the fundamental principle of Vattel that a state is a body politic, or a society of humans united together for the purpose of promoting their mutual safety and advantage by their combined strength. Also by the very act of the civil or political association, each citizen should subject himself to the authority of the entire body, in everything that relates to the common welfare. The authority of all over each member, therefore, essentially belongs to the body politic, or state; but the exercise of that authority may be placed in different hands, accordingly as the society may have ordained. The next fundamental legal truth is that every nation that governs itself, under whatever form, without dependence on any foreign power, is a Sovereign State, Its rights are naturally the same as those of any other state, and, as prescribed in the United Nations Charter, protected from interference from outside.

It is natural to feel overwhelmed in a time of crisis. When that crisis passes however, we must share our stories and experiences, and build relationships. These are the shadows of the present that would remain with our children in the future. We should not be overshadowed by our forefathers but rather be strengthened by their values. We should not be overshadowed by their prejudices but enriched by their wisdom. We should not be divided by claims to high birth or caste but be united by our common aspirations, to bring up our families with purpose, direction, order and dignity. We must recognize the unity of a nation, as a people, and not as a divided set of neighbours in occupation of a land. Whether we have lost a child at war or have a child with an inscrutable sickness, there should be one moral determinant for our unity and that is that we have common aspirations to make the world better for our children. In his first joint address to the Congress and Senate, President Obama said that America will come out of its current economic crisis strengthened and with more determination. Any nation would benefit by these words of courage and wisdom. Perhaps this will be the light above that would establish our relationships with our fellow beings and leave our shadow behind to serve as a shelter for our children in troubled times.