Mahinda bans trousers at Parliament!

by Stewart Mahinda Sloan

(January 05, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) A source within the Rajapakse government that wishes to remain anonymous has informed the author that President Mahinda Rajapakse has instructed the Minister of Fisheries & Aquatic Resource Development, R. Mahinda Seneratne, to make the announcement that with immediate effect, ministers, Members of Parliament and visitors to Parliamentary debates will no longer be allowed to wear trousers but must instead were sarongs. Ladies will be required to wear saris. When asked as to why the Minister of Fisheries & Aquatic Resource Development should be tasked with such an important announcement Mahinda Seneratne replied that the Hon. K. Mahinda Rambukwella, Minister for Mass Media & Information had no information on the matter.

The source could not give any details as to why this sudden decision had been made but believed that it was in keeping with the government's plan to ban miniskirts.

"This is obviously the next step in Mahinda's plan to 'Sri Lankanise' Sri Lanka," said the source. Although he had no idea of the time table when the next step would be implemented the source also informed the author that tourists and business visitors to the island nation would be required to purchase and wear satakaya (Red Shawls) upon arrival at Mahinda Bandaranaike Airport.

The author attempted to contact the Hon. Mahinda Mahinda Amaraweera, Minister for Disaster Management for his views on the possible impact of the scheme on the tourist industry. The minister was unavailable but a member of his staff who would only identify himself as, Mahinda, suggested that we contact the Minister for Economic Development who is responsible for tourism and a hundred other things, the Hon B. Mahinda Rajapakse. This gentleman was, sadly, also unavailable.

So, apart from conjecture and hints there is no real proof of Mahinda Rajapakse's plan to Sri Lankanise Sri Lanka. Having said that, I happen to have the contact details of a tailor in Hong Kong that will manufacture satakayas at fire sale prices if anyone is interested.