Confab or freebie holiday for Commonwealth delegates

"Back on earth in our island eggs are selling at Rs20.00, chicken Rs800.00 a kilo, loaf of bread (450gm) Rs50, milk out of reach for the poor and a luxury for the middle income earners and generally it is a miracle that people have enough calories to get the energy to go out to work."

by Pearl Thevanayagam

(October19, London-Sri Lanka Guardian) I am no Nostradamus but I predict with certainty that Sri Lanka will have many visitors from the West in the coming weeks to advise the government on how to improve its human rights record, how to amend its constitution and how to set up private universities among other topics.

These will not be ordinary visitors. These are ministers, MPs and Lords or UN agencies and they come as a delegation of 10 or 15. Why this time of the year? Summer is over, winter is looming and the weather is pretty cold not to mention rising heating bills and the ever-present credit crunch which is biting into even high budget INGOs, government departments and it is the perfect location to spend some time in sunny Sri Lanka. A two-week package holiday to Barbados will set you off by a cool £2,000.00. Count in your family members and it becomes even more expensive.

What better way to avoid paying for your holiday than let your host country or your organization foot the bills. Those who come to help Tsunami victims never come during summer. They always come in the winter. I have done my homework and I know what I am talking about.

If you honestly believe anything would come out of the visit of this 11 member delegation from the Commonwealth Parliamentary Association then I think you are more gullible than I thought. How many times we pleaded with UK when the war was escalating and thousands of Tamil civilians were being massacred to suspend Sri Lankan’s membership to make it realize it cannot be a part of Commonwealth and show a face of democracy while conducting a shoot-to-kill policy of the Wild Western cowboy kind. Did they listen? No.

Under the umbrella of Commonwealth there are numerous associations ranging from human rights, research, politics, media and many more areas which involve situations in Commonwealth countries. But a leaked memo from the Commonwealth Secretariat reveal that a directive was sent to the visiting delegations that they should steer clear from addressing human rights issues. The delegation has had a 45 minute meeting with the President. The rest of the time would be allocated to savour all the beauty, culture and the island’s fabulous beaches at state expense. There would be expensive parting gifts for each member to remember their visit.

The Commonwealth which is quite a wealthy outfit with billions of pounds in its coffers from its 53 members has a posh club in London and the events it holds are only for elite academics, parliamentarians, top-notch journalists, scholars and other literati who discuss third world poverty while drinking Pimm’s and Double Malt whiskey. The food there is absolutely fabulous on par with the Ritz and Dorchester and prices to match.

Mainly East Europeans work there as waiters and bar-tenders and their salaries are much better than they would get from other clubs or hotels. I would have applied for a waitress position but my age and not my ethereal beauty and the fact I cannot shake a cocktail for toffee or my inability to stop myself from spilling red wine on a Versace dress would deter my selection. While only tea and biscuits are offered in the conference rooms at the House of Commons during meetings and very often mineral water Commonwealth Club spares no expenses when it comes to hosting events.

Back on earth in our island eggs are selling at Rs20.00, chicken Rs800.00 a kilo, loaf of bread (450gm) Rs50, milk out of reach for the poor and a luxury for the middle income earners and generally it is a miracle that people have enough calories to get the energy to go out to work.

The Commonwealth representatives are used to third world poverty as they visit them regularly and after sumptuous hosting by their leaders with all the opulence they could muster they return to report on the starving millions who need DFID (Department for International Development) grants. The grants are given but they are mainly channeled through governments who put aside enough for state visits and their own personal bank accounts. The crumbs are then unevenly distributed through less important local government representatives who once again pocket most of it for their personal use.

By the way, did I hear a little bird whisper that Sri Lanka is hoping to get some mullah after the Commonwealth visit? Not to rehabilitate North and East again!!!