UN sub-committee on Fasting, feasting and photo-calls

Weerawansa must have thought how silly all this is when I have an important position with all the perks such as luxury vehicles, security guards and a thumping salary. What’s the use of my dying if someone else would step into my shoes and enjoy all this.
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by Pearl Thevanayagam

( July10, London, Sri Lanka Guardian)It is a well known fact that our government which is steeped in culture and ancient civilization of over 2500 years promotes theatres, theatricals, dramas and drama queens.

The latest production in the Lankan stage after the IIFA folded with not so much as a curtain call. The drama queen while being given intravenous liquids (a definite no no for a fast unto death campaign. Google Terms and Conditions for Fast Unto Death) then declares he would give up the fast if President asks him to.

There is a certain Code of Conduct for Fast Unto Death. The UN is very strict about this and there are 51 chapters and 21 Articles per chapter so before you fast you need to familiarize yourself with these. Otherwise even in case you actually snuff it your death becomes null and void because you would not have abided by the rules of sub-committee set up on Fast Unto Death under the 1951Geneva Convention.

I bet you did not know this. There are a lot of things you do not know such as Sri Lanka is a democracy but then that does not mean they do not exist. How many of you actually saw a barking deer in Bandarawela but that is not to say it does not exist. Now not only would you have wasted your life (which you have been doing anyway) fasting to death but you would not have even got a mention in the local rag.

This reminds me of another drama I see in Wembley. Outside Alperton Station four East European men have set up a box on which lie three round discs. You need to guess the one with a symbol and you place a wager with a £20.00 note. People are watching and one of them produces this £20.00 note and of course he wins and is rewarded with another £20.00 note. The spectator who placed the wager is one of the gang.

It is a well-known street drama not unlike the one recently played by VW. But this time VW has gained popularity among major news agencies. The joker in the pack and the President (one and the same) gave him Thambili or water (it depends on which news you are reading) and the fast is over before you finish shouting, “Throw out the barking Moon and his three satellites”. He would never ever have dreamed that he would be the flavour of the day in the international media. As Andy Warhol said everyone will be famous for three minutes.

I wonder when my three minutes will be. I am thinking of going on a fast against the Meteorological Department for bringing in this heat wave which in turn brings out my skin in blotches.

Now has anyone got to find out if the woman who was screaming that `more people would starve to death if ape Weerawansa Mahathaya maruvoth’ was sent from the Presidential Secretariat? She certainly did not look like someone who would sacrifice her life for she turned out impeccably dressed and looked well-fed not unlike VW.

VW must have thought how silly all this is when I have an important position with all the perks such as luxury vehicles, security guards and a thumping salary. What’s the use of my dying if someone else would step into my shoes and enjoy all this. No I am going to live since I deserve this after not fighting for JVP’s ideals but crossing over to the government when the going was opportune.

Hey, Menike, get my Sunday Best for the photo calls. I am not just a pretty face you know. I know that I should end this on Saturday morning well in time for the Sunday editions.