‘Deiyo Sake’ And ‘Hallo Machang Diplomacy’

By Gamini Weerakoon

(March 28, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) Seeking solitude from the hurly burly politics of the day, we were at the Water Hole sipping the Waters of Nuwara Eliya and reflecting on universal declarations by men of substance and those of straw. We were contemplating the particular declaration that ‘a perfect man can never be created’ when we picked up the election manifestos of aspirants to parliament and realised how outdated these time worn truisms of the so called ‘greats’ are.

Aspirant MPs

An aspirant, rosy pink in complexion in posters is seen treading the muddy paddies, kissing old ladies, dishevelling the hair of kids, though not many poya moons ago was accused of various misdemeanours by his lady love. He pledges to be a perfect servant of the people in the coming six years. Another, superman in the making who is better known for the business of betting on horses and his foray into the gentlemen’s game, that left the gentlemen’s game in an irrecoverable mess, is promising to take us into a brave new world of technology and finance.

Lanka’s saviour

Even better is the mug of Rohitha Bogollagama who is now claiming from every defaced wall in Colombo City that ‘he won the whole world for his country’ (Rata venuwen lovama dinoo). What exactly he won for his country, is not quite clear but cynics say that losing the GSP + would have lost tens of thousands of poor garment factory girls their jobs. An economist aspiring to be an adviser to the next administration claims that we got to learn to live without the GSP+ like we did to live without quotas. But in the meanwhile how are the poor garment workers to live? asks a club cynic.

One of the most original thinkers that shifted into the Rajapaksa constellation has been Rohitha Boggs. He broke new ground in the world of diplomacy with his firm and sincere declaration of ‘Hallo Machang’ diplomacy which he explained in the simplest of terms: ‘We will appoint only friends whom we can trust.’

Foreign ministries, the world over, attempt to attract the best available talent into their foreign services. The best of universities are scoured for the best available talent. According to the Boggs principle, the best of friends and relations are selected because they are whom the Rajapaksa administration can trust. Thus, most of those in the foreign service selected on merit under this scheme will be left kicking their heels at Janadhipathi Mawatha while the Boggs-Rajapaksa friends and relatives will be in the plum chanceries around the globe enjoying the la dolce vita.

Hallo Machang

Already the ‘Hallo Machang’ scheme appears to be bearing fruit. A recent report said that a Japanese who had given out his house to a Sri Lankan diplomat had complained that the Sri Lankan diplomat on completing his tour of duty has taken with him in his container a grand piano and a priceless clock of immense sentimental value to him. The Japanese national, it is reported, is refusing to return the deposit paid to him by our embassy, till his property is returned.

‘Deiyo Sake’ was the exclamation of a member of the Water Hole who had once got bowled over with the extra strong Sake — the Japanese rice wine. Perhaps it goes down well with the exclamation of our grandfather who used to cry out ‘Deiyo Sakki’ (May God forbid) whenever he heard an incredible story.

We are not passing judgement over the diplomat concerned (a political appointee) since the results of the Foreign Ministry inquiry is not known. He may be quite innocent of the said violation. But it must be said that if true, the lifting of a grand piano will go down in the annals of the Guinness Book Of Records.

Foreign Ministry pundits will no doubt be wagging their finger and saying that this is what happens when time tested practices of diplomacy are discarded and indigenous varieties of ‘Hallo Machang’ diplomacy are adopted. But it has to be pointed out when age old practices — even British imperial practices — such as in plantation management are discarded and our own indigenous practices are substituted, the ‘Hallo Machang’ principles creep in.

We saw it in the take over of local and foreign owned plantations where friends and relations of the ruling party looted the estates that were a part and parcel of our national treasure. Only Dr. Colvin R. de Silva as Minister of Plantation Industries, although a Marxist, resisted the change of systems of management. ‘I will not change the system, until I have a better system to replace it with,’ he declared.

The tragedy of this country is that during the past 50 years we have been replacing systems that worked perfectly well with experimental and at times harebrained systems that have brought ruin upon us. Education, Public Administration, Justice, Police are some such fields and now we have shifted on to the field of foreign affairs. Certainly, ‘change we must’ but we must change for the better. Not for the worse or the unknown.

Sri Lanka had become so cocky that we are now taking on the Western World and even the United Nations Organisation. Certainly if we can become a world power on our own with Rajapaksa and Bogollagama giving the lead, it will be all very well but not at the same time asking the UN Chief for jobs for our siblings.