Learning English from the sub-continent

Indian commentators were patriotic and made no efforts to hide their patriotism unlike those MCC commentators who were partial as the Indians were but had the savvy to show absolute neutrality.

By Gamini Weerakoon

(September 14, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian)Reports of Indians being brought to Sri Lanka to teach us the English Language resulted in our memories flitting back to the ’50s and ’60s when middle class Sri Lankans were justly proud of their command of the English Language and found the English spoken by our sub- continental brothers quite amusing and at times even hilarious.

To middle class Sri Lankans of those times — Sinhalese, Tamils, Muslims — competence in English was even greater than their mother tongue. Even today some octogenarians and even septuagenarians stutter to speak solely in Sinhala or Tamil and invariably slip-in English words into their speech.

Dearth

In our old school in the ’50s the masters were impeccable in their English. But at that time there was a severe dearth in teachers of science subjects and there appeared to be a surplus of them in India. Thus, Indian graduates teaching science subjects became a regular feature in Colombo schools.

At that time there appeared at our school an irrepressible Indian whose name I recall as Mr. Durghese. He was short, stocky and muscular and had the bearing of a military officer — one who would brook no nonsense. Much to the delight of us he rolled his Rs, dragged his As and brought in Ys where they were not necessary. To give an example he would say: ‘Whaat yish this nonshense?You arrh playing the fool. Yin Yindia scoundrrrels like you…’

The smiles on the faces of the boys apparently made him realise that he was more a source of amusement than one of a teacher of mathematics. One day he rolled up his sleeves and declared: “In Yindian military police 20 years. Any thuggery buggar want fight….. come one by one…” None of the15 year old ‘thuggery buggars’ in class dared to take up the challenge of this mighty atom. “Next time you buggarrs laugh I will report you to that old buggarr in office” (meaning our revered Warden, the head of the school), he declared

Incompatible

Apparently Mr. Durghese’s training in the Indian military police was not one compatible with the teaching profession

The practice those days at the commencement of a class was for all the boys to spring up on their feet up and in unison chant: “Good morning sir.”

Mr. Durghese did not like it. ‘This is a bloody colonial habit,’ said the national minded Durghese ordering that it be not repeated before him ever-after but soon boys even outside the class room on seeing him were wishing him: ‘Good morning sir’ which drove him nuts.

The hot tempered Durghese was rattled. One morning as he was crossing the grounds after getting off a bus, he came across the warden during his morning stroll around the school. ‘Good morning Mr. Durghese’ — the warden, ex-Oxford and more-English-than-an-Englishman, wished his teacher. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. ‘Good marrrning? Now you too arrrh good morningfying. Good marrning alright. Pretty bloody obvioush, no?’ he told the stunned warden. This happened close to end of term and unfortunately Mr. Durghese failed to appear the next term at school.

Mr Durghese, it should be stated, was an exception. There were many other Indian graduates who taught at our school and fitted in very well.

Indian cricket commentaries

Commentaries by Indian cricket commentators in the early ’50s are still remembered and recalled by Sri Lankan Pukka Sahibs of those times.

Indian commentators were patriotic and made no efforts to hide their patriotism unlike those MCC commentators who were partial as the Indians were but had the savvy to show absolute neutrality.

An Indian cricket commentary would go something like this.

‘Umrigar is coming into bat now and Mankad is at the other end. Mankad has been there for quite some time now. He has hooked and pulled and did cut and drive to pile up his score of five runs. Mother India expects a lot from this couple.’

‘Polly (Umrigar) is now facing the bowling and he goes in for a magnificent cover drive. What a lovely drive, perfectly timed, but unfortunately he was bowled middle stump.

Polly is walking back to the pavilion and Mother India is weeping.’

‘Mankad is now facing the bowling and he hits, the ball is racing towards the boundary, a fielder is chasing the ball. Man chasing ball, ball is chasing man and ball wins. It is four runs to Mankad….. The play is now halted. Someone is flashing a light into Mankad’s eyes. The crowd is getting restive. They want to catch the culprit. No. no it’s not a mirror its light from a windscreen being reflected into Mankad’s eyes.

‘Police are requesting owner of car no IND 1234 to shift the car. Will the owner of car No IND…please shift your vehicle... No, no owner of that car don’t worry, your car is already on fire. Indian spectators are very sporty they don’t want play to be interrupted…’

Past

Indian cricket commenting has indeed come a long way since those days of patriotic cricket commentaries. Now, those like Sunil Gavaskar and Anil Boghle and others could measure up to the best in the world of cricket. Sri Lankan cricket commentators of the past were mostly against Sri Lankans and were for the foreigners. This influence is still surviving among some present day pundits.

Readers may point out that all our comments today have little to do with the teaching of English by Indians to Sri Lankans. Some of these tales have been told by us in the past as well. But since teaching of English in Sri Lanka has come a full circle it is good to revive memories.

Indian teachers will face a formidable task in teaching English to Sri Lankans. Bridging the two communities with the English language will be quite a formidable task. A dear friend, a former Royalist relates the story of two present day Royalists at the school gates being asked by a Tamil boy from Jaffna: Where is the haal? The Royalists are nonplussed, They think the inquirer wants rice (haal). But later he asks: Where is the exam being held? After they showed him the way, one Royalist tells the other: ‘Machang eya ape hole ekata haal kiyanawa (they are calling our hole, haal!)

Good luck to the Indian teachers.

-Sri Lanka Guardian