LTTE claims the Crown of Commonwealth

By Swarnajith Udana

(March 30, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) Humanity, justice and fairness have won a remarkable uplift recently. The Masters are going to expel Sri Lanka from the exquisite membership of the club of old colonies. We need to keep this membership so that we can keep celebrating being colonized, don’t we? The aftershocks of colonization peaked in 1983 and is continuing to this day in grandiose of mayhem, suicide bombing. Why should not we celebrate?

After the expulsion, the next logical step would be to award the crown or the Mastership of the club to the LTTE. Well done Master! I will be happier if the crown goes to the LTTE. Then there is at least some predictable pattern to the world affairs. Let us assume that this will be done otherwise it will be impossible for many of us to keep our sanity.

During the same period, Elam Super Power has warned China to get its facts right. Nadashen, genuinely and sincerely as always as he is-being true to the nature of his organization- has offered help to educate China about real facts. There they go. Master exceeds the New Crown Prince and the New Crown Prince outdoes the Master. This is how it should be. One outperforms the other. One may wonder; do they have shared tongue? Maybe they share not only a single tongue but also blood, bones and soul. Does not this show whatever has been said or pretended, the LTTE are the pet rebels and rebel pets peace doves of the Masters of the world? Also they are peace doves of the gentlest kind.

Even though it has been discussed the peace credentials of LTTE, I would like to present a brief summary.

• The LTTE is well known for the spiritual and peaceful nature of unique kind that guarantees achievement and sustainability of peace. The pillar principle of this peace spirituality can be summed up in four words: Only us then Peace. It is sure to work. The only obstacle is Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka is selfishly resisting this philanthropic and spiritual principle. Also, it is unfortunate that this principle seems to be little too much for Tamil civilians and even for some hardcore carders too. They are running away to the Government controlled areas. But Super Power Elam will never vacillate from its divine principles or move away form this sure to work peace theme- only us then peace.

Maybe the Master was very pleased with this steadfastness. This brave and courageous stand on a single theme such as only us then peace has never been witnessed in the whole history of mankind. This power of resolution itself exceeds the limitations of boundaries of humanity and is unimaginable to human cognition when tactics and strategies of only us then peace theme manifested on streets and in crowded busses etc, which had become an affront for the beast itself. Why shouldn’t such a magnificent achievement unimaginable to human mind be rewarded by the Masters? We might add that this reward does not come as a favor made on partiality. It comes as a true evaluation of the meritorious performance of the LTTE. Well done Masters and the New Prince of Crown!

• The prophet of the True God of Super Elam Heaven has warned China to get its facts right. See how peaceful they remain with themselves and within themselves? The spiritual determination and miraculous ability to remain in peace with themselves after making buses burnt into ashes-one after one- seem to have impressed the Master. If this is not meritorious what can it be? Maybe this has reminded them their colonial times; divide and rule spirituality and other crimes.

• The prophet has also loudly and clearly expressed their resolute desire to have peace talks with Sri Lankan Government without any precondition. This is gem of a gem of the rarest of the rarest kind, or precisely the LTTE kind. I am sure Masters could have been elated to hear this proclamation of love of peace by their pets. Masters might have been feeling motherly love for their rebel pets or pet rebels and experiencing pica-syndromic-feelings to run to the Putumattalan sea strip, take the LTTE into the lap, mollycoddle and say soothing lullabies while breastfeeding their peace doves.

Do you hear the Lullaby?
Sweet Baby LTTE
Always feeds
Just in peace
Do not cry do not cry
Sri Lanka will go perished.

• Such maternal love should always be admired. We all know the world runs on maternal love. One needs to see that this condition that there is no condition is in fact a condition to the Sri Lankan Government. Government should not ask the LTTE to lay down arms or release the civilians or stop committing any horrendous crimes. See how peaceful they are. If God has created man, HE could not have created the LTTE. I suspect Devil. Devil in the Mind. Mind of the True God, but not without our help.

-Sri Lanka Guardian