By Swarnajith Udana(March 18, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) The Prophet has spoken again. Please listen to this if you can and have a tough stomach.
B. Nadesan, the political head of the Liberation Tigers of Tamileelam (LTTE) Sunday said the Tigers had "plenty of evidences" to document that the Sri Lankan government of Mahinda Rajapaksa was "intentionally directing attacks against civilians," committing war crimes and crimes against humanity when asked to comment on the recent statement issued by the Office of the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR). The UN High Commissioner had warned that the actions by the warring parties could amount to war crimes.
Not carrying a passage outlining Sun God’s qualifications to demand Nobel Peace Price for Son God, in the statement above, may be an indication that Nadeshan is suffering from an acute case of dementia. Since these days his tongue has to work in overdrive and overtime, his tongue may have momentarily become over tight. Or is it more likely that this is Dead Soul Syndrome caused by prolonged activity of tongue and moral acrobatics? Such prolong soul gymnastics of foulness is known to create malignant deformities in one’s soul. Is this dead soul syndrome the reason why he has failed to be consistent by complementing his war crime-genocide accusations against the Government with Nobel Peace Price demand for his Supreme one?
Any way even when a beast is in distress we help it. So I would like to extend him a helping hand by drafting a letter that he can articulate his claim for Nobel Peace Price for the True God.
Dear Nobel Peace Price Committee:
For a long time Nobel Peace Price Committee has been committing an oversight of unimaginable magnitude by not granting Nobel Peace Price for our Sun God. I am convinced that this is just an oversight since we do not see any outpouring outrage from the world for our war crime accusations against ‘legitimately”-what legitimacy; just grab a bomb then the power- is the only way to go about being sole representative- elected Sri Lankan President for pursuing a war against us. It is true that many countries have labelled us as terrorists. Recently some who have usually called us by the pet name, rebels have begun to issue some negative statements. Even then lack of outrage when we demand war crime investigation against so called legitimate government for pursuing so called legitimate goal of eradicating so called terrorism, we have no reason to loose hope. I believe that clearly the Sri Lankan Government has not been able to deceive the world. Yes, rhetorically or momentarily the world bodies denounce us for time to time, but still we are the pet rebels of the world.
Dear Peace Loving Nobel Price Committee, this trust vested on us heartens our soul (If we still have one, that is. Since we have lost our souls, it heartens the black hearts of our empty souls.). The world is still standing by us. The international community cannot be fooled by the enormous false propaganda of our enemies.
These firm and magnificent attributes of humane international community are a divine inspiration for our struggle of freedom. Therefore if there is any doubt in the international community why our one and only Son God deserves the Nobel peace Price, due to momentary lapse of sense caused by falling into the dark abyss of vicious lies uttered against our true God by our inhumane and untruthful enemies, I am compelled to write this appeal. My hope is to convince you to correct the most unjust oversight in the history of mankind. This is essential for the wellbeing of mankind and its respect and dignity.
This letter will make sure that our Only God will receive Nobel peace price in twenty four hours (Why wait any longer, why follow any conventions of waiting until usual time of Nobel price, when it is about rectifying a great injustice?). If this grave error is not corrected with in twenty four hours, we will send one of our most precious and humane gifts to you (You may have to wait since the our divine rituals require that she (our gift courier) take her last meal with our Supreme one and her photo taken with the same Divineness. I remind you Rajive Ghandi with utmost compassion.
Most Impressive Qualifications of Sun God for the Nobel Peace Price.
• Our Son God is the inventor of magnificent technology of suicide bombing which is the most inhumane (Oh my tongue is tight, it needs some rest before it can do the acrobatics again) killing method in history (We in the LTTE believe that this is enough qualification for the Nobel Price. If this cannot qualify, nothing else can do the job.)
• Our Son God has taken a whole population as hostage asking Sri Lankan Nation as ransom. Our Son God wears a whole population of babies, elders, women, children just as body defense armor. This also a unique and innovative invention. We are surprised, how have you overlooked this one? What else one can do to get the Nobel price-of peace, any thing else- No problem, but of peace-How come?
• Proscription of child soldiers by force and kidnapping is a proudly held ethical and moral code in our organization. So is our denying it. (Can you find anybody who can do tongue acrobatics as much cleverly as we do? What peaceful creatures we are?)
• Under the divine guidance of our True God, we have become the world champions in drug trafficking, extortion, people smuggling, running prostitution rings, gun running and robbing from credit cards. Moreover, we are the masters many other various forms of various crimes still the world does not know about. (This one is an extra qualification, isn’t it? What does the world have come into-no justice-hey?)
• Our organization has perfected and galvanized our mentality on the motto; have no mercy and kill anybody. This include babies, temple goers etc, etc. You name; we have already done them.
• Our organization has the distinct ability to bomb religious places without any concern, guilt or remorse.
• The one of the most revered moral code of our Elam theology has made us a unique bunch of people who has no remorse, guilt or shame. What a peaceful achievement is this. Can you see? We can do any thing- for instance kill a baby in the most gruesome way- still we can be in peace with ourselves because we have no remorse and do not feel guilt and have no shame. See how peaceful creatures we are? Can you find any other who is peaceful as us? No way.
• We can rob medicine and food from people and accuse the Government of genocide, which keeps sending that humanitarian aid. (We can even laugh at this. They send the medicine and we use it to treat the rebels who kill their soldiers, and then we accuse of them of genocide. The beauty of this is that we have no shame or conscience. Some times I feel that this is even a better qualification than the first. Only if the world has any true sense left in it.
• We have no second thoughts (only the first thought-then it is done) of killing anybody who crosses HIS path, even world leaders. (Oh this is becoming very difficult. MY TONGUE ACHES. Which one of these is the best qualification? None second to another.)
• When we accuse the government of genocide, we can simply forget there is a large Tamil population happily living in Colombo, East and Jaffna and none of them is trying to escape. But the people we took with us dream and plan to escape, risk their lives by walking on deliberately mined (another act of divine peace-just to kill the escapees), roads riding through dangerous waters. And if the mines do not do the jobs our Sun God’s Faithfull soldiers are there to torture and kill them. (This is a good one. When I think about I am shaking with elation. This cannot go unnoticed by the price committee. What I specially like about is that we have no mercy. Please have mercy on us.
• We use artillery guns from the areas of civilian safe zone. Then we accuse the Government of shelling us. See how peacefully clever we are.
• There is yet another one. We even forcibly recruit from UN Workers and their families.
• Or I was just about to forget. We even use the Government supplied fertilizer to make bombs of death. See, we do not believe in anything that can sustain lives (we mean the lives of others). We have developed this theory “Who needs to produce food if bombs can be produced? Who needs development when we can cause plenty of destruction all around?
This list can go on and go on. We believe that you are convinced of the unique qualifications of our Supreme one for the Nobel Peace price. You will not find any body else who has such distinct attributes. Let the great historical blunder be corrected and Nobel Peace Price is bestowed on the one and only one who deserves it. Maybe I can add one more reason to convince you.
Our Son God has a true plan for peace. HE is going to eliminate everybody else except his true faithful ones. Does not it guarantee peace, ONLY US-THEN PEACE? What a marvelous genius, simple thought? Who else has the audacity, wisdom and morality to think of and act on a theme like “ONLY US-THEN PEACE”. You have to admit, I have more than convinced you. If not your gift is on the way. The garland is coming.
This time, I truly rest my case. I know in my heart that Nobel Peace Price of Eternity (whole history of mankind) will be granted to my True GOD with in twenty four hours.
Yours truly
One and only Prophet Nadeshan of One and only True Son God
Remember the peace theme: ONLY US-THEN PEACE
I want to add: This author does not like war. The cruelest aspect of war is not the deaths or civilians or immense crimes committed against women and children or the property. It is the fact that sometimes war is a must and that is the cruelest aspect of way. This must-nature of war hurts my heart. It bleeds my heart. I hate war for the reason that we are compelled to have it. Some time only option for humanity is war. War is needed be avoided if it is all possible. Only after all reasonable humanly possible efforts then one must go to war. Nevertheless, we the people of Sri Lanka and friends of Sri Lanka expect its Government to conduct the war with utmost care to minimize civilian inconveniences and casualties. This is a must. There cannot be any vacillation from this principle.
As the majority, the Sinhalese need to be able to assert themselves without asking subjugation of any other group. Any group who simply chooses to merely assert themselves cannot ask subjugation of any other group. War is hard, difficult, destructive and inhumane to the civilians and the soldiers. We cannot risk any more wars. WE are THEM and THEY are US. We both have dreams and nightmares, hopes and aspirations and tears and smiles. Let us first be Sri Lankan then we can take a second label as we see it fits. What matters is not the label but our lives and how we want to live our lives. I hope that the war has really united us. Politicians please give up your greed of power, get together and build up the National consciousness. As Sinhalese people organize many religious rituals to bless safety for soldiers there should be such events to bless safety for civilians. Sinhalese and other people should collect items and send them to refugee camps.
Politicians, do not try to seek cheap political profit from human misery. Stand for fairness to all not for a vote you get from a misguided Tamil or Sinhalese.-Sri Lanka Guardian
 The Prophet has spoken again. Please listen to this if you can and have a tough ...){kind=link}
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