(May 13, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) May is a month when great attention is paid to the role of the family in shaping society. Perhaps May was chosen cause it is widely accepted that the month was named for Maia the Roman goddess of spring and growth . Her name seems to be related to a Latin word that means increase or growth and it is traditionally believed that ancient Romans associated her with fertility and held ceremonies in her honour on May 1 and again on May 15 . The fact that May 15 is celebrated as the International day of the family may perhaps have been influenced by this custom.
The family is considered the basic unit of society. The UN declaration of the International Day of the Family is directed to provide the widest possible protection and assistance to families to accept and ensure that their responsibilities are adhered within the community in accordance with the provisions of Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the Declaration on Social Progress and Developments and the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against women. It is aimed at fostering equality, and the sharing of domestic responsibilities and employment opportunities.
Today there is so much confusion regarding what the unit of a family is. A great deal of discussions centre around the collapse of the extended family and the emergence of the insular nuclear family but definition of a family is often contrary and often subjective. According to the well known anthropologist Murdock a family is a "a group characterized by common residence, economic cooperation and reproduction. It includes adults of both sexes, at least two of whom maintain a socially approved sexual relationship, and one or more of their children of their own or adopted by the sexually cohabiting adults." With this definition it is obvious that emotional and economic needs are the foundation of the family. Every group of people have their own culture. Patterns of behaviour . modes of living and traditions and the younger generation is made familiar with such patterns through the instrument of the family.
However today the unit of the family is threatened with the open economic market policies , globalization ,the progress of industrialization, urbanization, and modernization. Due to these factors particularly that of economic necessity and social pressure we find that families are often disintegrating . The relationship that should exist between husband, wife and children is often threatened by these external pressures which tend to disrupt the family and finally end up in disrupting the community. In fact today the family has lost its importance in society as the foundation of values.
Sadly enough while we talk of the corruption that has invaded our political and social structures and complain of youth violence and lack of respect for human values and in particular the value of life , very few of us as parents have turned inward the light we direct towards such incidents. For instance most of us would have been horrified to read of a young man who upbraided by an older person for his unseemly behaviour towards a young girl in the bus, followed the older man when he got off the bus and brutally stabbed him, injuring him seriously. Our sense of justice is often disturbed when we read not only of terrorist attacks but of the resultant contempt shown towards the sanctity of human life. We hear of abortions ,the dumping and the killing of infants and the many instances of child abuse and we are aghast that such horrendous crimes are becoming more and more common in our country. Perhaps it is time that we should ask ourselves how did this situation ever rise in a country with our religious cultural and traditional ethos. If the family is the repository of values and traditions have we as parents done anything to instil in the young those values that were handed down to us by our forefathers. Parents play an important role in teaching the human entrants to this world the first lessons of life and making them accept values which are helpful later in shaping their personality, attitude and behaviour.
Social changes certainly have had their impact on the family. The earliest instances occurred with urbanization which influenced the structural unity that had existed within the family . Migration of labour from rural areas to the city and the suburbs and the lack of proper affordable accommodation led to situations where the breadwinner had to leave his wife and children. This non residential fatherhood often brought about a breakdown in the discipline that prevailed within the family. The greatest catastrophe however occurred with the liberalization of the economy and the greater demand for female labour both within the country and abroad. This led women forfeiting their traditional roles as home maker and seeking employment in garment factories or abroad as domestic workers. This situation created a tremendous vacuum within the family as parents had to rely on relatives and others to provide their children with the basic of moral behaviour. These economic trends brought about significant changes in the family. The rapid globalization and urbanization emphasized the nuclear family as against the extended family which had been able to support the moral value system of earlier generations. The increased participation of women into the labour force , led to the reduction of the size of the family and was often instrumental in the increased divorces and remarriages that occurred .
While the innate form of the family was changing so too were the roles of the parents and this perhaps was the reason that United Nations General Assembly which had proclaimed in 1993 that the 15th of May should be observed as the international day of the Family decided that the theme for 2008 observance should be “Fathers and Families: Responsibilities and Challenges”, which emphasized the role of the father in the family and the important responsibilities and special challenges that accompany it.. The traditional role and responsibility of the father was that of being a disciplinarian , moral teacher, breadwinner and role model. However in many instances this role has now to change. An increased number of women, including mothers, participating in the labour force have brought about changes in the expected responsibilities of men and fathers. Hence there is now an increased emphasis on the father as co-parent, fully involved and actively participating in both the emotional and practical day-to-day aspects of child rearing.
.However while the expectations of direct fatherhood involvement in parenting have changed, the challenges to fathers, as well as to society and social policy, remain as strong as ever. For many men, assuming the responsibilities of fatherhood is difficult . The role of a father has been subject to numerous changes . In the early 19th century , fathers were considered the “source of moral teaching and worldly judgment”. It was the father’s duty to instruct children of their moral duty to society as well as to religion. In the mid 20th century, the fathers role had decreased and women’s presence in their children’s lives became more prevalent. Fathers were supposed to be merely the breadwinners of the family. A good father was one who provided well for his family. The father still did set the standard of morality and discipline in his family. He also had the final say with all big decisions concerning the children. However as more women were employed society began to criticize fathers for being too passive with their children which was leading to juvenile delinquency. According to this new concept fathers were seen as a role model for their children. There is still the idea of the father being the breadwinner, but now society was also critiquing fathers for being too distant; focusing more on their careers than their family. A new image of a father has now evolved and he is supposed to be involved with his children as infants, not just when they are older, he participates in the day-to-day work of child care, and he is involved with his daughters as much as his sons. Society has finally decided that unless the role of the father in the family is strengthened and his contribution as a parent defined , the basic unit of the family will be at risk .
In keeping with the demands of society for more active and participatory parenthood and with the theme for the International Family day based on the role of fathers , they definitely can be at their best as parents when they are highly motivated, and consider themselves as role models for their children not as mere economic providers. However it would be opportune for fathers to realise that children will emulate their actions when pursuing their role model . In this a father who preaches moral values but whose behaviour is often contrary will be giving their children confused messages . We see this happening so often in our society especially when children of some politicians use physical force to get their way. Fathers must consider the responsibility they have and instil in their children , by their behaviour moral and social values in order to preserve the social unit of the family as a catalyst for creating a better world.
- Sri Lanka Guardian
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