“One day President Rajapakse will reveal the truth in his memoirs. With so many secrets to be revealed such a memoir is bound to be a bestseller; may even win the Booker Prize!”_____________________________
by Catapult Thangavelu from Sleuth Street, Slave Island
(March 21, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) Mervyn Silva, the Minister for whatever that he is in the Sri Lankan Cabinet of a Hundred Clowns has set the pace for brutal political sadism, another arm of terrorism that reigns supreme in the country. Sadly, President Mahinda Rajapakse seems nonchalant and indifferent to his antics when he should have been the first person to take this itinerant minister to task.
We sleuthed around a bit to find out why he behaves in such a manner, and to our utter surprise, we came across dozens of causes for Mervyn Silva’s bizarre, outlandish, irresponsible and aggro-vicious conduct wherever he goes and against whatever is in conflict with him.
An unchecked claim is that he was quite delinquent at birth and has preserved his childhood tantrums assured that they bring better results. Most people know beggars, the scammers of course, are never polite. They get what they want by either being aggressive or a damn nuisance or even both. May be Mervyn guy got his ministerial position by being a damn nuisance to President Rajapakse!
One day President Rajapakse will reveal the truth in his memoirs. With so many secrets to be revealed such a memoir is bound to be a bestseller; may even win the Booker Prize!
Another reason that was pretty much thrown around was that he had read a lot about warlords of Somalia and Sudan and wants to be one himself. He, it seems, is still looking for a region to stake out as his warlordom or whatever that means only Mervyn Silva should know. At first he was supposed to have set his eyes on Analaitivu in the north, an island now inhabited with feral goats, feral dogs and feral cats with their owners mostly in Switzerland and some in France and a few In Canada where Tamil has some status though not official.
But Mervyn shunned away no sooner he heard that they do not tap toddy on that island and he may have to survive only on goat’s milk which is far from the kind of juice for which he has a compulsive desire; one can say addiction too. It is that over ground stuff kept underground and treated with all kinds of just about everything. We understand the kick from it is super effective. No wonder Mervyn Silva loves it all.
Political frustration is said to be another factor. He had big ambitions of heading a major political party if not the UNP, if not the SLFP, if not the JVP, if not the JHU, if not even the TULF at least unlike the Green Party, the Blue Party. The Blue Party he thought would revolutionize morals and values in the country and bring pleasure and joy to hundreds, nay thousands and in the process he could ring in the shekels in their millions.
The Blue Party he vowed would be officially all sleaze and sordid and entrepreneurs will be encouraged to thrive and prosper using means that no law agency will dare check them. The Blue Party idea was dropped like a hot potato when a Wennapuwa soothsayer cum Kasippu lord warned him that if he continued with that plan, in his next birth he would be born a she-goat. He did not like that possibility because he has a pet hatred for goats.
Now Mervyn Silva is in a fix. What shall he be to become famous or even earn at least a place in the Guinness Book of Records? Someone told him that he could count the number of crows on Crow Island and no one has done that yet for the Book of Records of the Guinness Ale company.
It is actually a mater of time before President Rajapakse gets sick of him. So if you see Mervyn Silva near Crow Island and counting crows that means the Cabinet of Clowns has been freed of one minister at least unfortunately, if one goes, two may be waiting to get in.
- Sri Lanka Guardian
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